An Open Letter to a Broken Woman,
I read your post on Twitter and as a member of the pro-life movement and as a woman, I wanted to address you personally.
I sense the anger, fear, and near hatred that is behind every word of your post. I sense your brokenness and your need for authentic love and support. I would like to address the statements that stood out to me the most and extend to you my deep desire for the healing of your woundedness.
Us women are amazing. We are capable of great love and sacrifices that are uniquely feminine. Uniquely us. The ability to menstruate, lactate, and gestate another human life are practically superpowers. Unjustly, our culture has lied to us, calling these gifts weaknesses. As G.D. Anderson stated, “Feminism is not about making women stronger. They are already strong. It is about changing the way the world perceives that strength.”
In your letter, you cite many strengths that you have wrongly perceived as weaknesses:
- “Leaking tits” = nature’s recognition of a mother’s fundamental role in nurturing a child.
- “Stitched up vagina” = Tangible symbol/reminder of sacrifice that comes with being a mother.
- “Stretch marks” = a reminder of the selflessness of every woman who bears a child.
- “The two parasites that have somehow implanted into my uterus” = Our amazing ability to reproduce a unique human being.
Only women can express love with our whole being and create, develop, and nurture another human being from that love. We have been told that women should do anything to avoid pregnancy (including ingesting artificial hormones that harm our bodies). But why do we feel the need to choose between our futures and our children?
Because we have been told that we are weaker for having children, less productive for having children, and less efficient for having children. This is not feminism. This is a disgusting self-contempt and a growing societal “dislike of, contempt for, [and] ingrained prejudice against women,” and our amazing abilities. This is misogyny.
In addition, you make references to your children as “parasites” and “dribbling horror goblins.” I wanted to address this point because it concerns your self-worth and respect. I say this because the way that we view others often reflects how we view ourselves. As we know scientifically, from the moment of conception, what is present is a unique and unrepeatable human being. Your description of these vulnerable people as sub-human beings worthy of hatred reflects a deep brokenness in your self-understanding and self-worth.
I noticed this especially in your statement that, “My relationship with my significant other would not be ruined.” This statement hurt my heart the most. Do you not think you deserve a partner who will stay with you during hardship? Does your relationship hinge on your denying your fundamental nature in order to be loveable? Does your exterior beauty (no stretch marks, no scars, etc.) determine how loveable and worthy you are? Is your worth only skin deep?
Does he love you for who you are or for what you do for him? As a woman and a human being, you deserve more. And so did your children.
Lastly, real weakness is treating others as objects to be used. Real weakness is oppressing others in order to make your life better. This is a weakness of the human spirit, and it’s one that has no room in an authentic feminist movement. As the original feminist powerhouse Elizabeth Cady Stanton stated, “When we consider that women are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit.”
As feminists, we fight female oppression and it is degrading to us to prop up our equality at the expense of our children. As a woman, you are not equal and powerful because you can oppress your children out of existence. You are equal and powerful as a woman capable of many things, including and most especially reproducing human life.
I hope that you can perceive your strengths as a woman and recognize the amazing gifts that you have. And I pray that your woundedness can be healed and that you see others and yourself as beings worthy of love.
— From a Fellow Sister with Love and Concern.